What About Your Friends?
Life's recent events have made me take a moment to step back and evaluate my friendships with certain people. Friendship is something that I take very seriously... and maybe its because I've had some really good friendships and I also consider myself to be a good friend (most of the time - hey I am human.)
To me, a friendship is just as serious as a relationship (in my humble opinion). They require many of the same ingredients, - time, communication, trust, dependability, stability, FUN, you have to like the person, have at least a few things in common and they will be tried at times... My friendships are delicate - almost like flowers...you have to give it certain things in order for the friendship to blossom, grow and continue to survive... if you don't... it will eventually die. *Note: Not all friendships were meant to survive...goes with the whole "people come into your life for a reason and/or season" and not all are meant to remain forever.
As I mature (not just get older) I've come to learn that real, GOOD, friends are truly hard to come by. Everybody cant and WON'T be your BFF. The very people that you think will be your 'friend to the end' or 'best friend forever' are sometimes the ones that wont stick around long. It happens...people grow up and grow apart sometimes. Even people 10 years ago I considered my 'ride or dies' are distant acquaintances now. My big deal about being a friend is that it needs to be a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIP. If you were dating someone and always giving, giving, giving, eventually the light bulb goes off that you are being used and the relationship isn't benefiting you and you get out. Same with a friendship, if you find yourself constantly there for someone, running to their rescue, there when they need to talk or need a place to crash, but somehow they are ALWAYS UNAVAILABLE (and not just when you NEED something), but generally not able to reciprocate just 'being a friend' and being there for you the way you are for them... then maybe in that situation you're being used too...or your friendship is being taken for granted.
Call me naive but I'm one of those people that gives people the 'benefit of the doubt' until they give me reason not to and I've learned that with many things I'm not usually a very patient person but with people I do tend to give them several chances. So I feel after giving you multiple opportunities to 'prove yourself' and you DON'T, then its my prerogative to decide if I want to continue in this relationship/friendship. I don't think I expect too much from my friends. Everything I desire of them is everything that I'm willing to give. If I'm always giving in the friendship and not receiving anything in return (NOT as a reward for my giving but just out of reciprocity) then the friendship is no longer MUTUALLY beneficial. That opens the door to being used, abused and mistreated. I don't want those type of people in my life, so I'm learning how to separate the weeds from the real flowers so they don't mangle up my garden... if you've ever worked in a garden, you know that pulling weeds isn't always the easy thing to do, but the end result is a much happier/prettier garden. :) It hurts to come to the realization that someone you considered friend may be just a 'season' but hey...you live, you learn and you move on... simple as that.
Might want evaluate some of your friendships to make sure they can even still be called that... or ask the question TLC asked in their popular song "What About Your Friends." I pasted some of the main lyrics below... if you realize that you have some weeds in your garden...might be time to get to work and get rid of them.
To me, a friendship is just as serious as a relationship (in my humble opinion). They require many of the same ingredients, - time, communication, trust, dependability, stability, FUN, you have to like the person, have at least a few things in common and they will be tried at times... My friendships are delicate - almost like flowers...you have to give it certain things in order for the friendship to blossom, grow and continue to survive... if you don't... it will eventually die. *Note: Not all friendships were meant to survive...goes with the whole "people come into your life for a reason and/or season" and not all are meant to remain forever.
As I mature (not just get older) I've come to learn that real, GOOD, friends are truly hard to come by. Everybody cant and WON'T be your BFF. The very people that you think will be your 'friend to the end' or 'best friend forever' are sometimes the ones that wont stick around long. It happens...people grow up and grow apart sometimes. Even people 10 years ago I considered my 'ride or dies' are distant acquaintances now. My big deal about being a friend is that it needs to be a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIP. If you were dating someone and always giving, giving, giving, eventually the light bulb goes off that you are being used and the relationship isn't benefiting you and you get out. Same with a friendship, if you find yourself constantly there for someone, running to their rescue, there when they need to talk or need a place to crash, but somehow they are ALWAYS UNAVAILABLE (and not just when you NEED something), but generally not able to reciprocate just 'being a friend' and being there for you the way you are for them... then maybe in that situation you're being used too...or your friendship is being taken for granted.
Call me naive but I'm one of those people that gives people the 'benefit of the doubt' until they give me reason not to and I've learned that with many things I'm not usually a very patient person but with people I do tend to give them several chances. So I feel after giving you multiple opportunities to 'prove yourself' and you DON'T, then its my prerogative to decide if I want to continue in this relationship/friendship. I don't think I expect too much from my friends. Everything I desire of them is everything that I'm willing to give. If I'm always giving in the friendship and not receiving anything in return (NOT as a reward for my giving but just out of reciprocity) then the friendship is no longer MUTUALLY beneficial. That opens the door to being used, abused and mistreated. I don't want those type of people in my life, so I'm learning how to separate the weeds from the real flowers so they don't mangle up my garden... if you've ever worked in a garden, you know that pulling weeds isn't always the easy thing to do, but the end result is a much happier/prettier garden. :) It hurts to come to the realization that someone you considered friend may be just a 'season' but hey...you live, you learn and you move on... simple as that.
Might want evaluate some of your friendships to make sure they can even still be called that... or ask the question TLC asked in their popular song "What About Your Friends." I pasted some of the main lyrics below... if you realize that you have some weeds in your garden...might be time to get to work and get rid of them.
What about your friends will they stand their ground~Mo~
Will they let you down yeah, yeah, oh oh oh
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you
I agree that a friendship has to be cultivated and nutured like a relationship. You can have the same things in common; but if the love is not worked on and appreciated, it too (the friendship) can die out.
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