What's the Difference?
I was talking to a friend and was posed the following question so I want to pass it along to my blog readers... I need you to respond to this one!
What is your definition of:
~Mo~
What is your definition of:
- getting to know someone/talking to someone
- dating
- dating exclusively
- relationship
What is your take on them and what makes them different? How long does it take to go from one stage to the next?
My response was:
Actually all of that is kinda tricky. Its really easy to blur the lines/boundaries that separates each one of them. Getting to know someone or talking to someone to me falls in the same category as dating (not exclusive) unless both parties are aware that yall are just getting to know each other for the sake of being friends. BUT I would consider that just talking to someone, getting to know them...by phone, text, hanging out occasionally but still talking to other people would be considered getting to know someone and causally dating. Dating exclusively is a step up/level up where both parties have decided to date only each other and continue to get to know each other to determine if you want to further pursue a relationship with them or 'make it official' that you two are going to be together. That part is iffy sometimes...cause i think natually, we as people we go from dating straight into a relationship and the whole dating exclusively part is skipped over or we use dating exclusively and being in a relationship interchangeably... I also feel that the order that each category mentioned is listed in; in an ideal world would represent the natural progression of 'courting' to being in a 'relationship' ... just talking to them getting to know them, hanging out, and then deciding to date only each other and then moving on to a relationship. Honestly I think (and I could be wrong) that at dating exclusively you have decided to be in a relationship and relationship status is merely a label that you're together...So what do you think?
~Mo~
Well...Well...Well...so much can be said about this. There are alot of people who are ignornant to these things and like to make up their own definitions about what these terms actually mean.
ReplyDeleteBottom line, when meeting someone these things have to be communicated and an understanding has to be set. If not, there will be issues that arise from it. Trust me, I've been there a time or two, or three...heck I lost count of how many times this has happened to me.
My definitions------
1.) Getting to know someone/talk to someone: When meeting someone ya'll have a common interest, mutual attraction with someone, ya'll exchange contact information and start communicating with each other. You're taking time to get to find out flaws, likes, dislikes, common interests etc etc...When you're getting to know someone/talking to someone at the beginning it's not really exclusive and there could be a possibility that time IS being put in elsewhere with someone else. I feel that should be communicated if one of the parties is talking and getting to know someone else that way they know where they stand and so they can try to get ahold of their emotions before they get out of hand. This is a time where you really decide if this will be talking and could possibly lead to something else. Whether this will be just a hook up, no strings attached. Talking is NOT,and I repeat is NOT just about sex. That's not talking and getting to know someone, because once the sex gets boring, so does this "phase" and it will be over swiftly.
2.) Dating: speaks for itself. It's still nothing "exclusive" UNLESS it has been communicated. Dating goes beyond just sitting in the house all the time. Dating is going places with this person that you like and places that they like and this is a time you get to know them outside the phone, outside emails, text messages, outside 4 walls. You get to see them interact in public with other people etc etc...
Ya'll both get to experience things each other likes, and it actually helps appreciate them more as a person because as you see the things they like to do, you get a better understanding of how and who that person is and why they may act the way they do.
3.) Dating exclusively: all of #2 BUT exclusive...meaning no other people are in the picture. You're completely focused and committed to that individual. You know this is something that you want and could see it being a committed relationship. People get dating exclusively and being in a relationship mixed up. However people are scared to commit so they'll forever be dating exclusively until they can get past the "relationship titles"...
4.) Relationship: #1-3 and then some! HAHAHAHA! Relationship takes work on both parts. It has to be communicated again that ya'll are in a relationship. Because if not, one person may still think ya'll are dating exclusively and another may feel ya'll have moved past that and into a relationship. And one way this COULD happen is if sex is involved. Sex complicates things...trust me, I know. It's happened, a time or two, or three or 100 lol...smh...in a relationship you have to give your all, be willing to sacrifice, be willing to be committed to one person and one person only...being in a relationship lasts longer than 3 months, 6 months. Relationships are not 1 month, 2 weeks, 3 weeks. That's just a hook up that went sour. A right that went wrong. When you get in a relationship, you're in it for the long run, as long as the race is going to last, you're committed to be in it and not give up. Yea there will be fights, there will be hard times, but that's what makes relationships stronger.
So much more could be said, but I'll end it there...