The Roller Coaster

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Hey people! Soooooo I said I was going to try to blog at least once a week and I already messed that up, didn't even keep it up for 3 weeks....SMH... I've been writing but haven't published anything cause I wasn't sure I wanted to 'share' what I was feeling with the world. I'll catch you up, but I guess I'll start here....

I used to be terrified of riding roller coasters. And although in a natural sense I looooove them now, metaphorically speaking they suck, at least the emotional ones......I've heard people say all the time about how they are on an emotional roller coaster, shoot, even Vivian Green wrote a song about it, but it hasn't been until now that I can fully understand exactly what they were saying....

I've been on a roller coaster of emotions this past couple of weeks and I'm so over it. Well let me say I'm ready for the ride to be over. Ever get on a roller coaster, and have that slow, creeping ride to the top, while you're laughing and talking and getting ready for the 'thrill' and get to the top and pause... RIGHT THERE that place, that moment, that time is where I wish to stay.  If I could I would pause my thoughts and my emotions and I can rest in the 'highs of life'.  But unfortunately, life doesn't happen that way.  On a real roller coaster ride, the next thing to come is a sudden drop where your stomach feels like its shifted up to your throat and your whole equilibrium is thrown off. THAT is where I am right now and its not a good place to be. Feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty are settling in and I cant control it (and that's extremely difficult for someone whose normally in control.)


I'm trying to shake it off and regroup but the reality of it is, its easier said than done...when my mind and heart try to run ahead of me, I have to find a way to reign them both back in and gain control of the situation and I'm trying, I really am. Its just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo doggone hard.... you feel like you take 3 steps forward only to be pushed back 2.  Well I wish someone could please point me to the emergency stop or could activate the brakes so I can stop this ride and get off immediately cause I'm ready for this to be over.....

~Mo~


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